
After a quiet holiday season, The Little City Weed Mailbox is filled once again with local goodness. Thank you for your readership and kind letters. The ones written in giant block letters using red crayon are a bit scary … but in a delightfully good way.

After a quiet holiday season, The Little City Weed Mailbox is filled once again with local goodness. Thank you for your readership and kind letters. The ones written in giant block letters using red crayon are a bit scary … but in a delightfully good way.
Dear Weed: I have a substandard lot in Falls Church. I figure I am within my rights to divide my property into 10,000 really tiny lots and sell them off to my big-endian commoner friends. They are great builders, whom I would expect would greatly improve the aesthetic of the land. Do you think I can do this without causing the usual civil commotion? Respectfully, The Emperor of Lilliput.
Dear Emperor: You must not be from around here. I would go big on the issue. Start a blog. Circulate a petition. Start a whisper campaign disparaging neighbors who disagree with you. Maybe even retain a giant to destroy the fleet of your opponent so that overbuilt tiny lot little-endism can reign again in The Little City.
Dear Weed: Your immediate assistance is needed. I am the son of an official representative of a nearby county, recently wrongfully deposed by a group of officials intent on making off with a hidden reserve of water funds known only to a few political insiders. Due to loss of credentials in the coup my interests are currently unable to release funds. If you could use your influence to help us secure a loan, with a small down payment, you would be entitled to a ransom in the form of a $2,000,000 return on investment, paid in appreciation of your assistance. Please immediately provide a wire transfer of $200,000 on Falls Church City Taxpayer Letterhead to the attention of my legal representative. Sincerely, The (Former) High Councilor and Crown Prince Potentate of the Empire of Blefuscu.
Dear Former: Meh. Why not? It could not be any worse than all the other recent boiler room scams designed to get at The Little City taxpayer dollars.
If the City Manager weeps when he proposes the city budget, is it more or less likely I will get the raise for which I have waited three years? Yours truly, A Very Patient City Worker.
Dear Patient: An excellent question with which I struggle to answer. I would point out my good friend the City Manager has so far ignored my suggestion to forever level set crazy city politics by wearing a Start Trek uniform to a meeting of city council. Plus I do not think people from Charlottesville have tear ducts.
Dear Weed: How do feel about being a colleague of and sharing a masthead with the great Helen Thomas? Signed, I knew You When You Were Nobody
Dear Knew: Years ago, I ran into Ms. Thomas at an airport and she smiled and winked at me. So part of me thinks this is an end-of-days plot to ratchet up the crazy. But now I sound like Tom Whipple, except with no reference to big oil.
Michael Gardner is a quixotic citizen and founder of the Blueweeds community blog.
The Little City Weed
mgardner
After a quiet holiday season, The Little City Weed Mailbox is filled once again with local goodness. Thank you for your readership and kind letters. The ones written in giant block letters using red crayon are a bit scary … but in a delightfully good way.
After a quiet holiday season, The Little City Weed Mailbox is filled once again with local goodness. Thank you for your readership and kind letters. The ones written in giant block letters using red crayon are a bit scary … but in a delightfully good way.
Dear Weed: I have a substandard lot in Falls Church. I figure I am within my rights to divide my property into 10,000 really tiny lots and sell them off to my big-endian commoner friends. They are great builders, whom I would expect would greatly improve the aesthetic of the land. Do you think I can do this without causing the usual civil commotion? Respectfully, The Emperor of Lilliput.
Dear Emperor: You must not be from around here. I would go big on the issue. Start a blog. Circulate a petition. Start a whisper campaign disparaging neighbors who disagree with you. Maybe even retain a giant to destroy the fleet of your opponent so that overbuilt tiny lot little-endism can reign again in The Little City.
Dear Weed: Your immediate assistance is needed. I am the son of an official representative of a nearby county, recently wrongfully deposed by a group of officials intent on making off with a hidden reserve of water funds known only to a few political insiders. Due to loss of credentials in the coup my interests are currently unable to release funds. If you could use your influence to help us secure a loan, with a small down payment, you would be entitled to a ransom in the form of a $2,000,000 return on investment, paid in appreciation of your assistance. Please immediately provide a wire transfer of $200,000 on Falls Church City Taxpayer Letterhead to the attention of my legal representative. Sincerely, The (Former) High Councilor and Crown Prince Potentate of the Empire of Blefuscu.
Dear Former: Meh. Why not? It could not be any worse than all the other recent boiler room scams designed to get at The Little City taxpayer dollars.
If the City Manager weeps when he proposes the city budget, is it more or less likely I will get the raise for which I have waited three years? Yours truly, A Very Patient City Worker.
Dear Patient: An excellent question with which I struggle to answer. I would point out my good friend the City Manager has so far ignored my suggestion to forever level set crazy city politics by wearing a Start Trek uniform to a meeting of city council. Plus I do not think people from Charlottesville have tear ducts.
Dear Weed: How do feel about being a colleague of and sharing a masthead with the great Helen Thomas? Signed, I knew You When You Were Nobody
Dear Knew: Years ago, I ran into Ms. Thomas at an airport and she smiled and winked at me. So part of me thinks this is an end-of-days plot to ratchet up the crazy. But now I sound like Tom Whipple, except with no reference to big oil.
Michael Gardner is a quixotic citizen and founder of the Blueweeds community blog.
Recent News
Senator Saddam Salim Richmond Report
U.S. Strikes in Iran: the Urgent Need for Congressional Oversight On June 21st, President Trump abruptly attacked Iranian nuclear facilities
Beyer Floor Remarks Opposing H.R. 1
July 3, 2025 (Washington, D.C.) – Congressman Don Beyer (D-VA) this morning delivered the following remarks on H.R. 1, aka the One
Beyer, Simon Speak at Tri-Branch NAACP Town Hall
On Saturday, June 28, Congressman Don Beyer and Virginia Delegate Marcus Simon were among the panelists for a Town Hall
A Penny for Your Thoughts 7-3-2025
Growing up in post-World War II America presented few options for young women past high school. College graduates could aspire
Cult Century: 1970s Roots Of Trumpism, Part 7 of 25
The U.S. Senate approval this week has been of perhaps the most heinous bill ever, stealing from the poor to
Rev. M. Davies Kirkland Says Thank You City of Falls Church
byThe Rev. M. Davies Kirkland Pastor, Dulin United Methodist Church (Ed. Note – The Rev. Kirkland’s 25 year ministry at
Stories that may interest you
Senator Saddam Salim Richmond Report
U.S. Strikes in Iran: the Urgent Need for Congressional Oversight On June 21st, President Trump abruptly attacked Iranian nuclear facilities with American bombers. The next day, he abruptly announced a
Beyer Floor Remarks Opposing H.R. 1
July 3, 2025 (Washington, D.C.) – Congressman Don Beyer (D-VA) this morning delivered the following remarks on H.R. 1, aka the One Big Ugly Bill Act, during debate on the measure: “From
Beyer, Simon Speak at Tri-Branch NAACP Town Hall
On Saturday, June 28, Congressman Don Beyer and Virginia Delegate Marcus Simon were among the panelists for a Town Hall hosted by the NAACP branches in Fairfax, Arlington, and Alexandria.
A Penny for Your Thoughts 7-3-2025
Growing up in post-World War II America presented few options for young women past high school. College graduates could aspire to be elementary school teachers or nurses but, once married,