BY JOHN F. CROWNOVER

Every eight hours, Virginia loses someone to suicide.

In 2023, 1,230 Virginians died by suicide, and nearly four out of five were men. They were fathers, sons, coworkers and neighbors. Suicide is a leading cause of death for Virginians ages 15 to 34, the years when many young men are trying to build a career and a family, often convinced they have to do it alone.

September is National Suicide Prevention Month, and a good month to start a habit worth keeping. Here are three things Northern Virginians can do, starting this week.

First, learn QPR, the “CPR” of suicide prevention. QPR stands for Question, Persuade and Refer. Like CPR, it teaches ordinary people to recognize the warning signs of a suicide crisis and get someone to help. The Fairfax-Falls Church Community Services Board offers the training free as a 60-minute virtual class, open to anyone 16 and older. The next session runs Sept. 29 from 6 to 7:30 p.m. Register at fairfaxcounty.gov/community-services-board/prevention/qpr.

Second, walk out of the darkness. On Saturday, Oct. 3, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention holds its Out of the Darkness Fairfax Walk at the Mosaic District. Check-in opens at 11 a.m., the opening ceremony begins at 12:30 p.m. and the walk steps off at 1 p.m. Registration is free, and the money raised supports suicide prevention research, advocacy and education programs across Virginia. Sign up at afspwalks.donordrive.com/Fairfax.

Third, put prevention on your bumper. A campaign called Matthew Matters is working to bring a Suicide Prevention and Awareness license plate to Virginia. The plate honors Matthew Herron of Ashland, who died by suicide in December 2021 at age 18. His parents designed it in teal and purple, the colors of suicide prevention, with a semicolon, the words “You Matter” and the 988 crisis line. The DMV requires 450 prepaid applications before the plate goes into production. A standard plate costs $10, refunded in full if the plate is not approved. Learn more at suicideawarenessplateva.wordpress.com.

The proposed Suicide Prevention and Awareness plate, designed by Matthew Herron’s parents. (Image courtesy of Matthew Matters)

And whatever else you do, check in. Prevention usually starts with a conversation. Ask how someone is really doing, then ask again. The first answer is usually “I’m fine.” Take warning signs seriously: hopelessness, pulling away from friends, giving away possessions or talking about being a burden. Ask about suicide directly. It does not put the idea in someone’s head. It gives the person a chance to talk. Store firearms and medications securely, one of the most effective prevention steps a household can take. And post the number for 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, which is free, confidential, and available around the clock by call or text.

Men in particular often need permission to say they are not okay. In my work with men and boys across Northern Virginia, I have watched what happens when they get a room where they can speak honestly. They stay connected, and they ask for help sooner.

One Virginian every eight hours. We can bring that number down. Take the training, join the walk, order the plate, and check in on somebody this week. Then do it again next month.

If you or someone you know is struggling, call or text 988. In Fairfax County, the Community Services Board’s 24-hour emergency and mobile crisis line is 703-573-5679.

John F. Crownover is the Founder & Lead Coach of Men Talking, a Falls Church-based life coaching and emotional wellness practice.