By Don McGrath

“Everyone can master grief but he that has it,” said William Shakespeare. These words written hundreds of years ago by The Bard ring as true today as when he wrote them. Who amongst us has not experienced the loss of a loved one and had to deal with their own personal ensuing grief?

Fortunately, in Annandale, there has been a nonprofit 501(c)(3) organization in operation since 1976, whose purpose is to provide emotional support to the bereaved, the seriously ill, the dying and their families and friends. This organization is called Haven of Northern Virginia. It is aptly named for a haven can be defined as a place of safety or refuge. From its nestled in the woods home on Ravensworth Road in Annandale, this is just what Haven offers to its clients. As its founder, Dorothy Garrett, said, Haven is a place where “someone could be able to talk out their feelings and may be given help and support.”

Haven’s services are free, provided by a cadre of some 30 volunteers as no one associated with Haven is paid. It offers a variety of programs, such as a four-week widow/widower/partner group, on-going in-person and Zoom suicide loss support groups, and workshops dealing with parental loss and an upcoming one designed for those who have experienced a loss of a sibling.

Since its inception almost 50 years ago, Haven has provided its free services to thousands of residents of the DMV. One such resident is Susan from Springfield. She was married for nine years to George. It was the second marriage for both. They had a shared interest in sailing. He was 13 years older than she, and while they always understood it was quite likely he might die before she, his passing was totally unexpected as he died suddenly, 24 hours after the onset of pneumonia.

Susan did not get a chance to say goodbye and the suddenness of George’s loss was “a blow to the gut with a startling impact.“ Susan was 65 when she lost George in the spring and by the following fall she learned of Haven which was promoting a program on how to deal with loss involving a widow/widower/partner. She joined the group, which numbered eight, for a six-week session. She was provided concrete suggestions about dealing with her grief, with handouts, readings, exchanges of ideas about how to cope with the holidays. Susan describes Haven as a “lifeline … totally non-threatening.” Waves of grief would envelope Susan the first year after George’s death. As the years passed, Susan cried for George’s loss at holidays, birthdays, wedding anniversaries or when she heard music they both loved. As the crying has decreased, she sees the joy in their faces in framed photographs and feels the happiness of the moment. She will always feel his absence yet is grateful for having George in her life. She observes that “when you are grieving, you are vulnerable, and you need to reach out to people you trust such as you find at Haven.”

Haven services are provided by volunteers, not therapists, who have been vetted and gone through a rigorous training process. One such volunteer is Joni Greene of Potomac Falls. She is Haven‘s longest serving volunteer, having started with Haven in 1989. Thirty-five years later, she is still quite enthusiastic about Haven and its mission, serving the bereaved. Joni has filled a variety of roles at Haven over the years, seeing clients, answering the phone, a member of the staff, unofficial historian,and even Executive Director. She does it because “I enjoy helping the client”. She has devoted a good portion of her life to Haven, because she sees the need for it in the community. Joni has seen the benefits of Haven’s work. Joni stresses how important the volunteers are to Haven’s purpose. Joni believes that when speaking with someone who has suffered a loss, no matter how recent or far in the past it has been, the most important question to ask someone is “How are you doing, today? “

So, if you are grieving over the loss of a loved one recently, or in the past, know that there is an organization devoted to assisting you with your grief – Haven of Northern Virginia.

To learn more about Haven please visit havenofnova.org.