I know what you’re about to say, so let me just cut you off right now. Yes, technically Kennedy’s is now referred to on the receipts as “Nourish Market” and has a diner in the back that is a somewhat separate entity known as “Kasha’s Kitchen,” but because it has been called Kennedy’s ever since my mother started going here during her two non-consecutive affairs with former-president Grover Cleveland (don’t think I’m going to let that slide, mother), I will continue to refer to it as Kennedy’s.
I know what you’re about to say, so let me just cut you off right now. Yes, technically Kennedy’s is now referred to on the receipts as “Nourish Market” and has a diner in the back that is a somewhat separate entity known as “Kasha’s Kitchen,” but because it has been called Kennedy’s ever since my mother started going here during her two non-consecutive affairs with former-president Grover Cleveland (don’t think I’m going to let that slide, mother), I will continue to refer to it as Kennedy’s.
Enough of that.
You’ve spent a good portion of your life eating terrible junk food filled with more preservatives and harsh chemicals than a taxidermy shop. In a fit of madness, you’ve decided to start eating better and maybe attempting to exercise, but mainly you’re just going to try to stop eating junk food. However, there’s only so much tofu and whole-grain ramen you can eat before going completely insane. This is where Kennedy’s comes in.
If you need to shop for actual health food, and not that semi-fake overpriced Whole-Foods health food, you need to go here. Kennedy’s has more whole-grains, organic smoothies and various vitamins and herbs than you will ever be able to comprehend. This place not only predates the whole organic food trend, but probably predates the development of most of the harsh chemicals in the food that you already eat.
But for those who cannot muster the energy to actually cook, don’t panic. The diner in the back, complete with a few olde-timey stools and small tables, serves up sandwiches that probably inspire unfathomable envy in the Quiznos employees a few shops over. They’re not long, but these sandwiches are packed with the healthiest of toppings (although I personally get mine without sprouts or cucumbers). The smoked turkey sandwich, on your choice of twelve-grain, rye, sourdough and a few others, is classic and stuffed with carrots, lettuce, red onions and (presumably) a healthier version of mayo. It’s big, but doesn’t leave you feeling bloated like a processed sandwich would.
Vegans and vegetarians have a great deal of options and have the luxury of not having to pay extra for avocado. You may be a tad shocked at the $7 – 8 price tag, but quality is not cheap and you’ll forget it as soon as you tear into that sandwich.
The sandwiches are great. That much may have been easy to figure out. But what about your raging sweet tooth? Fair-trade gluten-free humanely-treated “chocolate” just doesn’t taste right for some reason. Kennedy’s has you covered. The derby bar, a brownie-like granola-ish bar with chocolate flakes on top, is pretty good, but the real money is in the cookies. Regardless of whether or not they’re actually good for you, these cookies are huge and amazing. The chocolate chip and ginger molasses are personal favorites, and fill me with a desire to eat more gigantic chocolate chip and ginger molasses cookies. The irony of getting fatter by consuming items from a health-food store is overwhelming, but the cookies are so good that I don’t have time to reflect on that.
Have you been upset that all your previous health-foods tasted like a stale couch? Do you want to have your all-natural cake and eat it too? Now you can, so put down whatever horribly processed thing you’re about to eat (and you are about to eat it; I can tell) and go get some real, actual food.
Kennedy’s Natural Foods
1053 W. Broad St., Falls Church
703-533-8484
localdc.com/kennedys
Hours:
Monday – Saturday, 10 a.m. – 7 p.m.
Sunday, 10 a.m. – 4 p.m.
