Vander Ark’s days as the frontman of The Verve Pipe saw his song, “The Freshmen,” reach No. 1 on the charts and his band sign a multi-album record deal with giant RCA. However the professional fame came at the expense of personal anguish, putting Vander Ark in a bit of a paradox.
“I was miserable,” he says without hesitation, when asked about the past. “I was never happy.”
He now notes that most of his pain was self inflicted. For instance, there was the immaturity in how he conducted himself — an ego fostered by fame, unchecked by adolescence and abetted by alcohol. Then there were all the times on stage when he simply played the same set he felt the fans wanted, rather than refining it into a show he could play with conviction. And there were those many times in the studio when he blindly sided with an established and acclaimed production team over the outcries and opinions of his bandmates.
“I turned my back on the band and listened to producers who have no stake other than financial gain,” Vander Ark reflects. “And, as producers, they were very disappointing. Did we leave any artistic mark? No, we didn’t. We could have been a much better band live and in the studio. A lot of that falls on my shoulders.”
Having admitted his past trespasses, Vander Ark has also paid his penance. The fame and the financial success from his days with The Verve Pipe are largely gone now. Vanished also are the luxury tour busses and amphitheater gigs, replaced by a Silver Air Stream (RV) Vander Ark tows with his Land Rover to a number of coffee house-sized shows across the country.
But his labor is now one of love, having found a joy, which earlier eluded him, in his relative rock star asceticism. He now puts out his music independently, currently touring off his 2007 release Angel, Put Your Face On, a collection of personal and honest reflections from a life that has seen an abundance of highs and a plethora of lows.
“I needed a resurrection or I’d end up folding and going back to retail,” says Vander Ark who spent his younger days working in a formal wear store. Instead he’s pressing on, operating now off of this conclusion: “What would be the point of continuing to write music that wasn’t as personal as it could be?”
So, he fashioned Angel after Simon & Garfunkel’s Bridge Over Troubled Water, an album on which Vander Ark feels Paul Simon reached his writing peak.
“It was less metaphorical and less ambiguous,” he says.
Listeners won’t have to look far for an instance of Vander Ark’s candor. The opening track, “I Don’t Want to Be a Bother,” recounts the tale of a boy’s run ups against a religious family and community.
“I was raised in a strict Christian home,” Vander Ark says. “This song is basically to tell them they’re all wrong.”
Another instance comes from the third track, “Belong,” a tune of finding a place of purpose after a tumultuous journey through the world. It’s one that Vander Ark finds fits his personal tale well.
“A lot of it has to do with the last 20 years in the business and going through the rock star car wash of the ’90s and not having the confidence to stand up and say what I want,” Vander Ark says.
Now on his own, in direct control of his own destiny, Vander Ark has found his enjoyment of performing and writing once more. But if given just one more thing that would make him the happiest, he would take it. It’s nothing big — quite simple, really — and something he will continue to strive for as he travels in his Airstream from show to show.
“When you’ve been through what I’ve been through, you get dismissed at a certain point,” Vander Ark says. “For someone to come from a different world, that had no expectations, and have them think that I could write a great song … that would make me happiest.”
• Brian Vander Ark plays Jammin’ Java this Thursday, April 26 at 8 p.m. Tickets are $20 in advance or $23 at the door. For more on Brian Vander Ark, visit www.brianvanderark.com.