Many of you have been wondering when the hammer would be coming down on some helpless restaurant. Is that day today? Not really, because doing so is not a responsible thing to do in the food-critiquing game that I have been a part of for so many decades. Therefore, I will try not to be ultra-harsh on Fairfax Deli, because their food isn’t necessarily their main problem.
Let us be clear: This is the kind of place that would be amazing after a night of partying. They serve greasy food that, while not award-winning, would definitely be fantastic at 3 AM on a Saturday night. However, because there is not a massive college party scene on that part of Lee Highway, and because Fairfax Deli is not open even remotely late (note: I stay up very late due to a combination of inhuman amounts of caffeine and a belief in paranoid Inception-like government conspiracies), it leaves me to wonder who the customers are that have kept this place in business since 1952.
The pizza starts as either a cheese or a white, which are reasonably priced based on the size. The pizza itself is alright. However, any toppings are going to cost extra and have a different pricing system based on the size you order. That’s where they get you. I understand that small mom-and-pop pizza places are having a hard time competing with large soulless corporations that can deliver a pizza through the internet and have it pop out of your CD-drive in 30 minutes or less (which would be unspeakably awesome), but charging a buck extra per topping and then having it scale with the size of your pizza deters cheap people like me from getting toppings.
Because I was trying to commit suicide by ingesting incredible amounts of cholesterol, I decided to up my swag with a towering inferno sandwich (a double-decker with pastrami, provolone cheese, pepperoni and hot peppers on rye) and ten buffalo wings. The sandwich was pretty good and filling, although a little smaller than what I had pictured a towering inferno to be. It was more like a molehill inferno.
The buffalo wings were good and different than most buffalo wings I have been eating recently (which, admittedly, is not very many). They did not have the nuclear-orange sauce on them and instead were lightly fried and a bit dry. I don’t think they were worth $8, but it’s refreshing (relatively) to get wings that do not look like something from a neon light factory.
They have other things on the menu (sandwiches, salads, subs, stromboli and other things that start with the letter “s”), but this is primarily a place for ordering pizza and wings while you’re sitting at home watching a “Law and Order: SVU” marathon. However, with many healthier and better places close-by, it’s hard to justify getting something from Fairfax Deli. Perhaps they are surrounded by incredibly loyal customers who will support them over any other pizza place in town, and while I admire their dedication, it’s hard to sympathize with it. Sorry Fairfax Deli, but unless you decide to stay open and deliver until the wee hours of the morning, I don’t think I can support your sub-par food.
Fairfax Deli & Pizza
7173 Lee Hwy., Falls Church, VA
703-532-5981
Hours:
Monday – Friday, 10:30 a.m. – 10 p.m.
Saturday 11 a.m. – 10 p.m.
Sunday 11 a.m. – 9 p.m.