Splinters: Worst Moves of 2004 Worth Remembering

It’s 2005 now and with that in mind, it’s time to usher out the awful occurrences of the past year. So without further ado, here are the worst sports related moves of 2004.

Honorable Mentions: The NHL lockout (does anyone even care anymore?), Greek sprinters fake scooter accident (not only were you cheating, you had to fake a scooter accident to avoid your guilt. Ouch), Fox’s continued employment of Tim McCarver, selecting the new Dream Team (Allen Iverson is many things, but you know you have a problem when you have to discipline your “Captain” for dereliction before you even start the tournament.), ESPN’s continuing to make original programming, South Korean gymnast protests Hamm’s gold medal (How do you say sour grapes in Korean?), Ricky Williams leaves the Fins (This would be on the list, but hey, he’s happy.), Kevin Brown fighting a wall, former Georgetown Coach Craig Esherick issues defiant “Stay Tuned message.” (Confident in his employment Esherick essentially waves his tallest digit in the face of his detractors, flaunting his job status despite five disappointing seasons an awful recruiting. He was fired less than a month later).

Now, onto the list:

10.) Wardrobe Malfunctions: The only reason this isn’t higher is because I’m still sick of hearing about it. This was clearly pre-meditated and as a result the FCC is cracking down on everything that’s even marginally risqué and we end up with lousy shows like “The Clubhouse.” Janet Jackson does not need any extra “exposure” to prop up her career, and she certainly doesn’t need to flash the world when thousands of children are watching. Not that the Jackson family seems to have any problem with that.

9.) A-Rod Becomes Slappy McBlueLips: This was a moment that will live in infamy as far as the Yankee-Red Sox Rivalry goes. With the Yankees trailing at the end of Game Six, Alex Rodriguez slapped the ball free from the glove of Bronson Arroyo (or Brandon Arroyo to Tim McCarver) in an ill-advised, last-ditch effort to get the Yankees back in the game. But instead of getting the call, A-Rod got a new nickname and the Red Sox got the W. Now a class player who always gave 110-percent has the rep of a cheater and will certainly inspire a plethora of new chants during the Yanks first trip to Fenway in 2005.

8.) Joe Gibbs Signs Mark Brunell: Does this really need any explanation? The quarterback was abysmal in his shorts stint as the Redskins starter. Good thing he’s got a huge multi-year contract tying up cash that could be used to patch up a pathetic offensive line.

7.) John Kerry’s Wild First Pitch and Lambert Field Misnomer: This probably didn’t influence the election at all, but it did reinforce how pathetic the Kerry campaign was. If you want your candidate to project the image of the Sports Guy Alpha-Male not only do you have to talk the talk, you have to walk the walk. Kerry did neither. First he called Lambeau Field, arguably the most hallowed stadium in the world, Lambert Field. And this to residents who love the Packers so much they’re willing to wear blocks of cheese on their heads. Then he shows up at Fenway Park, in his home state of Massachusetts only to get booed horribly by the fans and then throw a pitch that bounced a full five feet shy of home plate. Maybe this is the reason Randy Johnson doesn’t use Botox.

6.) Pete Rose’s Admission to Gambling: Normally this would be a good move. Except that Rose admitted his gambling in his own book. This just proved that there the only thing that Rose is concerned with is making money, just like Jose Canseco and Ken Caminiti who hyped the steroid issue by claiming 80-percent of players were juicing, despite offering up no evidence. While some players were clearly on Roids, it’s hard to take these two seriously. Particularly when Caminiti later died of a drug overdose.

5.) Lakers Keep Kobe and Deal Shaq: So let me get this straight. You trade the most dominant center in the game who is well liked by players, fans and media alike to keep an adulterer accused of rape that no one in the NBA wants to have anything to do with? Jerry Bus, what the heck were you thinking?

4.) Todd Bertuzzi Punches Steve Moore from Behind: This move was everything that is wrong with the sport of hockey. There’s nothing wrong with physical play, but this was the cheapest of cheap shots. And worse for Bertuzzi’s teammates on the Canucks, Vancouver was rolling toward a Stanley Cup. All that was snuffed out with Bertuzzi’s bash to the back of Moore’s skull.

3.) Notre Dame Fires Tyrone Willingham: Look, forget that this was a bad day for African-American coaches, this move was just dumb. You hire a guy who had turned around a program very similar to ND’s at Stanford. Let him recruit for two years, watch as he leads the team past rival Michigan, Michigan State and Tennessee, and then fire him because the team “isn’t good enough on Saturdays?” Yes, results are important, but after only three years? Give me a break. This would be number one had they not managed to hire Charlie Weis.

2.) Nomar Garciaparra Turns Down a Four-Year $60 Million Contract Extension with the Red Sox: Angered by the Sox off-season attempt to acquire Alex Rodriguez, Nomah gets himself in a huff and rebuffs the club’s attempt to re-sign him. So, he “fakes” an injury, whines and excludes himself from the team and gets himself traded at the July 31 deadline. All that added up to a one-year $8 million deal this off-season with the Cubs and missing out on a World Series ring with Boston. At least he has one ring this Winter. Thanks, Beautiful.

1.) Everything Maurice Clarrett did. All of it. Honestly, was there one good thing that came of Clarrett’s idea to take the NFL to court to challenge his eligibility for the draft? The NFL shot him down, Ohio State spat him back out and now no team really wants to touch him. On top of all of that he squeals on his college team for giving him improper benefits, further dimming his stock in NFL teams’ eyes. This doesn’t even take into account the violations he committed on his own, since those were pre-2004. Clarrett looked like he could have been something special after his freshman year. Now he could just wind up in the Canadian Football League. Hope he likes flannel, eh?

Mike Hume may be emailed at mhume@fcnp.com