Our Man in Arlington

The Barton’s ventured into Washington (D.C.) on Sunday to attend the reprise of the annual Gridiron Dinner show held the night before at the Capitol Hilton Hotel.

The Gridiron Club has been around since 1885, when it was formed to improve the relations between Congress and newspaper correspondents from all over the country who covered Washington. It sponsors a glittering white tie affair every year where the nation’s political and government elites mingle happily with the print media, who spend the rest of the year skewering them.

The highlight of the dinner was a series of hilarious skits where the members lampoon Republicans and Democrats (and themselves) on an equal opportunity basis. The political speakers this year were Hillary Clinton for the Democrats, and Rudy Giuliani for the Republicans. Vice President Dick Cheney took the place of the president, who was visiting with Mexican president Vincente Fox in Texas.

These speakers did not attend Sunday’s reprise, but everyone else did, and it was great. It even brought on a serious thought that the afternoon reflected one of the things that makes America great (or at least good to live in) is that political leaders of every political persuasion and the press can meet like this, mercilessly lambaste one another in good spirit, and live to tell about it. But enough of that!

After a chaste wine, beer, and cheese reception, we all gathered in the ballroom for the fun. Some of the highlights:

• A lesbian couple sings “Pat Roberts wants a ban – we’d like to have him as our best man. Get us to the church on time!” – a take off on the great Stanley Holloway song in “My Fair Lady.”
• A Teddy Kennedy look-alike singing about the Medicare bill fiasco, “We were done in by the AARP,” to the tune of “YMCA,” The Village People’s great hit.
• The Supreme Court dressed in swishy multi-colored robes singing about gay marriage to the tune of ABBA’s “Dancing Queens.” They called themselves the “Dancing Supremes.
• Al Gore (not really) singing soulfully, ”Midnight – all alone with my memories” from “Cats.”
• Hillary Clinton in a gown fit for a queen, singing to the tune of “My Fair Lady’s” “On the Street WhereYou Live,” “People speculate, they don’t bother me. There is nowhere on earth I would rather be. But must I always be from Schenectady? It was sweet on the street where I lived.”
• Saddam Hussein peeking out of his hole surrounded by U.S. troops singing about his life “under the floor mat, with all the fleas” to the tune of Jimmy Buffet’s “Under the Boardwalk.”
• Justice Scalia, three ducks, and Vice President Cheney singing to the tune of “Maria” –“Scalia, I just shot a duck with Scalia, and suddenly I found justice is not blind –“
• Karl Rove as the Wizard of Oz scarecrow singing, “if he only had my brain.”

You get the idea. The motto of the show is “singe, but don’t burn.” That is what the members of the Gridiron Club did, and they did it with great gusto.

Many years ago, the Arlington Democratic Party sponsored a similar roast political at one of their annual dinners. Here’s a thought. The reporters who cover Arlington and Falls Church should sponsor their own Gridiron Dinner. It could be a great hit.